Story#45: Off and On

Off Medication

(The First Week)

The sound of the leaves in the wind.  It has a sound like warning.  Unsettling.  Upsetting.  Too loud.  The disjointed ruffling too much like the murmur of a room full of voices and when you have a room full of voices, even if that room is empty, there’s no telling what they are planning.  No telling what they are plotting against you.

(The Second Month)

I like to pretend I lay and watch the clouds as they shift and form different shapes.  As long as the shapes are innocent.  As long as they are good.  There are too many bad shapes.  Shapes that warn and shapes that watch you back.  Those are the ones to run away from.

(The Third Month)

When the light becomes too much like the dark, that’s when I hide myself.  The pounding becomes too overwhelming.  The noise covers the sky and everything in it.  Then I try to run.  Run into the dark away from the light and into the light away from the dark.  Until a huge explosion consumes me!  Am I dead?!  If not, maybe I’m supposed to die somehow…

Back On Medication

(The Third Day)

The days run so slowly in this place.  This place has hard walls.  Hard feelings.  Men and women ask me too many things and poke me with too many things.  Endless pills.  But at least the darkness is receding.  It’s making less noise.

(The Third Month)

I want to write some music, like I use to.  It haven’t written anything in too long.  When the darkness was coming, that was when the music stopped.  I want to reach in and take the music back so that I can feel joy again.  And maybe even bring some joy.

(A Year Later)

I can’t believe I got the job!  I’m so excited.  And it pays well too.  And it’s all about music!  Teaching music to children.  Children are so full of joy.  So so full of joy!

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